deep into the pores of his skin
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: The Kaidou brothers go to the park to see the sakura, but Ren's insecurities rise to the surface afterwards…


**fandom: Super Lovers  
title: deep into the pores of his skin.  
pairing: Haru x Ren  
rating: pg-13  
description: The Kaidou brothers go to the park to see the sakura, but Ren's insecurities rise to the surface afterwards…**

 **deep into the pores of his skin.  
by miyamoto yui**

"He's lucky he didn't get attacked like that. The idiot…"

They all sighed inwardly at the sight.

The three younger brothers looked down at the spray of tiny white and pink flowers that surrounded their slumbering oldest brother. Like a pretty doll on display with legs straight in front of him and his head down, he'd been smiling under the sunlight peeking through the leaves of the tree he'd been leaning on. And just to make aesthetic matters worse, a single petal landed on his nose, begging to be brushed away.  
With the youngest one crouching down even before he'd taken off his shoes, he knelt down to playfully poke it.

"Yo, Urashima Tarou~. Wake up."

"Achoo~!"

With red cheeks, the oldest brother rubbed his finger under his red nose while blinking his eyes to wake up. Though easily susceptible to colds, he wasn't going to let a little thing like that get in the way of his adorable brothers from fully experiencing the wonder of cherry blossoms with him. After all, he and Ikuyoshi sat on the blue tarp to reserve their place in Inokashira Park since the sun winked into the horizon. But right after Ikuyoshi left, he felt incredibly sleepy. The glowing sun and the crisp breeze provided too much temptation…

"You guys are finally here," he said with an excited tone despite the drowsiness.

And unconsciously, his hand reached out to hold onto Ren's warm, quivering fingers.

"Man, Aniki, you really outdid yourself this time. By the river?" Aki grinned while quickly taking off his sneakers so that he could sit down.  
"For once, you got it right." Fixing his glasses, Shima peered around as he sat down next to Aki, placing his shoes right next to his twin's.  
They were situated a few feet from the crowded bridge in the middle of the river and here their thoughtless brother was lucky not to be jumped at brazenly taking a nap in the middle of sakura season. It was a close call to judge whether the sakura or their oblivious brother was being stared at this part of the park.

Taking a deep breath and shivering, Ren winced at the amount of people, pushing through for an hour on a path that should have literally taken five minutes from Kichijouji station. His fingers were holding onto the hem of Aki's striped shirt until he'd seen Haru.  
"Is this how everyone celebrates the sakura?"

Ren was the only one who was not sitting down. He was still standing in awe of the sea of pink floating and flowing along the river in front of him. As his eyes blinked in silent wonder, the wind responded by sending more petals towards him, twirling beautifully against the lazy water kissing each and every one lightly.  
"If you're asking about the craziness or the blue tarps, then yeah to both," Aki answered while pointing at a ukulele player who was going around like a hype man in a concert. Shima brought out soup, water bottles, chicken sandwiches, and strawberry short cake slices, handing each item to Aki.

All this time, half-dazed and unaware (as usual) towards the people staring at their gorgeous group, Haru was gazing up at Ren who, despite hating walking in crowds and doing anything troublesome (and this was how many times more than usual?), was watching everything with thirsty eyes. They drank the sight before them as if they'd been in a drought.  
He had lived in the deep forest with his furry companions, running endlessly into the streams and endless hedges and trees of green, but this in itself had a special charming quality that he couldn't put his finger on. But Haru could see it so plainly as their fingers palpitated into each other's palms.

"No matter how many pictures you see of this around the world, it's quite different to see it right before your eyes." Haru commented behind him with a satisfied smile, watching him instead of the scenery.

Turning around, in a split second, Ren's half-closed eyes sparkled as he looked at Haru before letting go of his hand. The angle of his sharp chin or the innocent demure expression made him look older, making it more apparent that Ren was growing up faster than he'd wished.  
"Oh…" Haru's brain was rendered useless for a few minutes afterwards…

Recalling the expression that afternoon, Haru buried his face into the water and spent more time in the bath than he'd meant to.

 **I won't hold on if he keeps on like this with me.**

In their bedroom wiping his raven hair with the large white bath towel, Ren sighed. Remembering the even bigger crowd of people who 'accidentally' bumped into their group or other, he felt seriously irritated. Looking down at his own body didn't help either. It wasn't sporty, tall, or all that masculine looking. The scrawny knees and the weakened calves compared to Canada emphasized that. He put his hands on his knees and looked at the ground with his head lowered, the towel covering his gloomy face.

 _No matter how you look at it, I'm just a kid…_

 _I know he loves me, but he won't wait…_

 _Isn't that what happened when I went to summer camp? No matter how much I cried, he wanted to treasure me and keep me from that._

Ren squeezed his eyes shut even tighter at remembering the slight betrayal.

 _But it's only him that wants to preserve my 'purity'._

 _I didn't grow up in anything resembling 'typical' so why apply those rules now? I don't know why…Argh._

Pulling the damp towel down, Haru knelt down to look at Ren straight in the face. "What's wrong?"

 _How long will it take until this man becomes mine? How strong do I have to be to keep him all to myself?_

The heat of the shower and the musky sweet smell that was undeniably Haru's began to enwrap his senses. Averting his eyes, Ren pouted with a muted, "Nothing."

 **What happened? This afternoon he was smiling and now the clouds came back again…**

But how could he blame him when he was most likely the storm that caused it? He just didn't know what exactly it was this time. Regression? Guilt? Missing their other 'home'? Hormones? Women?

Images suddenly appearing to place themselves in blank lapses of memory film clips…?

Haru sighed as he laid on the bed and placed his head on Ren's lap. Holding onto Ren's cheek, he said, "Look, I don't want to go to sleep with you pouting. If it's my fault, I'm sorry for everything. If it's not, please tell me before we sleep."

Subconsciously admiring the movement of Haru's lips, Ren's mind numbed itself to nonfunctional. He couldn't think anymore, but looking at Haru, he didn't know how to answer. There was a little voice from the depths of his soul saying,

 _Wait for me._

"It's nothing. I'm just really tired. You know I don't like crowds…"  
"I know, but no matter what, I had to show you."  
"You were right though, about experiencing them, I mean. They're indescribable." Looking deeply into his eyes, he humbly bowed his head a bit. Ren shyly mumbled, "Thank you, Haru. I really enjoyed it."

 _But they're incomparable to the time you threw me in the air and I saw your crystal eyes shining up at me. Patting my hands on your cheeks, foolishly I thought I could grab it for myself..._

Contrasting each other, Ren's mind remained awake and his body tossed and turned restlessly while Haru slept peacefully still. Taking another uncertain glance at Haru, Ren slipped out of the room to walk downstairs. He heard Aki and Shima talking about some assignment due the next day.  
Tiptoeing down the stairs, he made sure the steps wouldn't creak below his weight and give his temporary escape away.

With the exception of letting out a breath of relief when he got to the bottom, only light whispers and the humming of the fridge could be heard.

Ren walked to the glass sliding door, looked out into their small garden, and then up to the moonless sky. Pressing his hands on the chilly surface, he wondered if things would ever progress.

 _Will things always be like this? Will I constantly be watching Haru with a piece of glass between us?_

 _Everytime I glanced at him at the shop, there were those certain times that I didn't really want to look, setting myself to be hurt by the people who walked in for a piece of him to take home with them. It wasn't too different from those days, except liquor was replaced by sweets and veggies._

 _Even for a second, I want to breathe without you too, you know? I want space for myself._

 _But my brain is filled with you so I'm still attracted to watch your every move. My eyes gravitate towards those hazy lines, lips that tell white lies with an honest heart. How could someone contrast so much inside themselves? Especially someone who didn't quite notice it?_

S _o I don't like this gap either. I feel like I'm missing something important._

 _It's enough to make my mind break._

Pushing against the glass, his fingertips began to ache, but he couldn't help putting pressure on the innocent sliding door.

Lifting up his eyes to meet his transparent self, a warm hand saved him from facing his distress by covering his eyes and another clasping onto his stomach. Carrying Ren to the bedroom as the dry tears fell in between the spaces of his hands, those same lips buried deep into that thin neck.

Sitting down against the wall in the darkness, Haru wrapped his arms and legs around Ren protectively from behind. He hugged him tightly, so much so that he began to shake.

 _Is this why you don't want me to grow up yet?_

"Let me go," Ren protested, resisting as he wiggled from side to side.  
"No…no I won't."  
"You're overreacting. I just couldn't sleep-"  
"Are you starting to regret coming with me?" Haru's voice cracked.

 **You don't understand that my chest will have another heart attack if I open your eyes and you're not there.**

The closed grip of Ren's fists loosened.  
The pajama slid from the young boy's shoulder as Haru kissed his shoulder blade. Undoing the buttons, the top fell down to Ren's elbows, but he still couldn't turn around to see anything. Haru's tongue tasted Ren's spine in one long line, the younger one flinching at the contrast of a small fire mixing with the coldness of the dry, spring air. His hands worked their way from the sides of his thighs, squeezing them, up to the hips he could crush. They journeyed to the tiny waist and into his ribs, playing a rhythm only he knew.

 _These fingers are imprinting themselves into my skin, searching for something..._

Some indistinguishable noise came out of Ren's lips. He gave a confused expression of surprise. Kissing, and sucking, and biting, the wave of sensations caused Ren's fingers to reach out and grasp onto Haru's knees, nails and all.

His left hand splayed out, pushing against the small stomach as the right one caressed imaginary piano keys until they touched Ren's cheek. Finally, Haru pressed his index and middle fingers against the burning tongue.  
Ren's moaning became more frequent, curving his back as he bent forward and grasping onto the bed sheets until his fingernails dug into the mattress.

Then, Haru stopped kissing Ren's back, placing his wide hand over his jumbled heart as it beat deliriously into his palm. But in doing so, Haru's whole chest pounded against Ren's back as his uneven breaths tickled his ear.

"I want your whole body to feel like this when you grow up for me."

 _Yet again, I felt the distance of our ages._

 _I thought it was always me who was mature, trying to mind his promises as I went about my business. That 'my love' far surpassed his understanding of 'his love for me'._

 _But maybe I had been wrong all this time._

 _Even if our memories were fragmented, he still remembered me deep into the pores of his skin. It was to the point that I could clearly feel it screaming for me even though I was right there next to him, throbbing like it was regretting that we had two bodies for one soul._

A small smiled crept onto Ren's face.

 _I've been so dumb._

The waves of uncertainty that always threatened to engulf him calmed down. For now.

"Haru, I-"  
He breathed deeply into Ren's ear with a silly grin on his face.  
"You! How can you sleep after that?"

Pushing him into the pillow and pulling the sheets over them, Ren turned his body to regard Haru's sleeping figure.

 _You're a cruel guy for sleeping on me like that._

But the familiar teddy bear arms seemed to understand the mental message so he grabbed Ren again to pull him close. "Mmm…Ren..."

 _Hmph!_

The next day, Haru nearly hurt himself as Ren exited the bathroom. He blinked his eyes at the bathroom mirror in utter disbelief, trying to distinguish if he was still dreaming. "Wha-who *lewd dorky smile*-where? Ren!"

"What's that crashing sound?" Aki worriedly asking by the doorway as he scratched his head, his bangs making a cute wave that was sticking up.  
Unfazed as ever, Shima yawned while covering his mouth. He pointed to the obvious kiss mark on Haru's chest, a clear reddish bruise on the sternum. "I believe that is the cause."

"Serves you right," Ren replied, mildly sticking out his tongue out him when they weren't looking.

Shima and Aki shook their heads, calling out, "Ren, don't learn such things from Aniki."  
"Yeah, he doesn't know how to appreciate those gestures yet."  
"The reward's too early."

"I'm completely innocent this time~!" Haru wailed happily from the bathroom. He was drifting off into his own fantasyland again. "But we shouldn't make it a habit…"

They walked over him as I chuckled on my way to the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice.

 _Well at the rate we're going, I guess someday his body and my mind will meet somewhere in the middle..._

"Look~!" Haru insisted.  
"Ugh, dude stop displaying it like a kindergartener's first drawing in class. Sheesh."  
"I believe if you tell him that it'll fade, he might get it."  
"Nooo~!"  
He'd forgotten that small detail and became a little depressed over it.

Ren's eyes wandered to the direction of the bathroom as their voices scolded their older brother affectionately.

 _…_ _eventually._

As the afternoon sunrays pushed their way through the clouds, before he made an appearance, Ren secretly watched again before stepping forward. Displaying his badge of (dis)grace for all to see, Haru bustled back and forth on cloud nine throughout the café while Ren shook his head. He couldn't help but smirk at how adorable that guy could be sometimes.

 _Such a little thing and he's this happy._

Without knowing, he saw Ren through the glass and winked. The unintentional flirting made Ren's heart momentarily stop beating. In embarrassment, he turned away to go into the house.

But as he was holding onto the gate, unexpectedly, Haru stupidly ran after him, hugging him from behind. Checking all ways before attacking, he bit his ear. Fortunately for him, no one was passing at that moment.

"As always, I've been waiting." the serious voice said. "Okaeri."

"Ta-tadaima." Caught off guard, Ren gulped while his ears turned red, glancing at Haru as he hurriedly ran back into the shop before Kiyoka and Aki started scolding him for neglecting his duties.

He winked at him once more time. Haru smiled with his toothpaste ad teeth showing, the youthfulness of his features showing no traces of the distresses that had ever passed through him…

 _…_ _the same one that led me to cross the ocean on a promise._

 **Owari. / The End.**

 **Author's note:** You can see the pics, dramas, books, and anime, but nothing quite prepares you for embracing sakura season. Ah…another year has passed. :)

Strangely, this is the first time that while writing, I could hear their voices in my head saying the lines as I typed and read along. It was quite nice.

Thank you for reading!

Love,  
Yui

2/28/2017 10:44 PM – Los Angeles  
2/29/2017 3:44 PM – Tokyo


End file.
